Posted by: Kate | January 20, 2011

Temporary Leave of Absence

Just checking in quickly, because it’s been about 2 weeks and I haven’t done much of anything here, on Facebook, really anywhere online or much offline. I’ve been sucked in to a very intense depression, starting right around the New Year, and this week another medication reaction made me completely disoriented – like, I knew my name but couldn’t write it, had no idea what day of the week it was despite having just been told, tried to cook a simple dinner and ended up creating something bizarre and completely inedible. It scared Willem, it scared the children, and it scared me. A lot.

I think I’ve figured out the major culprit this time, and am seeing an improvement every day as I move away from it. I’ve apologized to everyone that I know I caused stress and worry for…and if I missed someone, please let me know so I can apologize again. I’m so, so incredibly sick and tired of being sick and tired, and just last week I got yet another diagnosis that has the potential to become very bad (as in, involving words like “chemotherapy” and “radiation”). There’s no certainty that it actually is the worst-case scenario, and I’m trying hard to hold onto that instead of completely losing whatever sanity I have left. One day at a time, right? Those soap opera authors sure are geniuses.

I’m trying to claw my way back up again, and I very much hope to be able to start peeking in online again soon. Thank you to those who have checked in on me, in various forms, to make sure I’m OK. I’ll try hard to be more present and let people know what’s going on, to the extent that I can handle. And I know I owe the Madhouse not one, but two posts… I’ll attack those soon, too.

Thank you for thinking of me, and thank you even more for being concerned about me. I’m trying hard to deserve and return that care.

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Responses

  1. I’ve been thinking about you, and hoping you were doing okay. If you’ve no objections, I’ll pray for you, that things start looking up.

  2. Aw, hon, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and also that I’m just a mouse-click away. Please let me know if I can help in any way! Love you!

  3. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with more crud. If you need to talk, you have my email addy and there’s always FB. {{{HUGS}}}

  4. We’ve been keeping you in our thoughts. I am hoping for best case scenarios, with all of my might.

  5. Good thoughts and feeling + tons of prayers are headed your way. I am so sorry Kate so so so sorry. Geography sucks big time and I wish I could be there to hold your hand through all of this.

  6. Sending positive thoughts your way Kate. You can do this.

  7. Just wanting you to know that you’re in my thoughts. Hoping for happier days ahead for you.

  8. Oh dear, I knew something was up when you missed two madhouse posts in a row. You’ve been in my thoughts, and you’ll stay there until I know you don’t need those vibes any more! I’ll also be hoping for best-case scenarios!

  9. Thinking and praying for you!

  10. Kate, you can only do what you can do. If anyone feels the need to judge you at this time in your life, it’s their issue, not yours. It’s okay to give yourself permission to check out and regroup from time to time. You’re still grieving and the regular addition of new issues isn’t going to shorten that process for you. When life is overwhelming (and when isn’t it, these days?) just know there are people out here rooting for you ready to lend support.

  11. You’re in my thoughts. xx


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