Posted by: Kate | August 7, 2010

Glow

We threw a birthday party for Jacob today. Thirteen kids showed up, which would be a nightmare indoors, but worked out perfectly in the backyard. We have this blow-up bouncy waterslide thing, and that entertained most of the kids just fine.

2010-08-07-j-waterslide

For those not able to handle, or not interested in, the waterslide, we had assembled party favors that included little crafts they could do… so everyone was happy and entertained.

The cake was a big hit… it’s amazing how a simple little thing can work out to earn an, “Oooooh, cool!” from a kid. Storebought all the way, but no one complained.

2010-08-07-j-cake1

The thing is,I have had a particularly difficult time, just lately. A lot of crying, a lot of angst. I’m very unhappy about my hair – I’ve never been a short hair kind of gal anyway, and feeling like I had to cut it just added to the frustration. But this way, at Gretchen’s wedding, I’ll look like her lesbian friend instead of her sick friend. Which is better, I think. I’ve also been struggling with the pain and fear associated with my ongoing wound care from yet another surgery on Monday – we’re up to 15 or 16 this year, for those keeping track at home – and just depression as the impact of the events of March slowly creep up on me. Just hard time, and harder as I struggle to paste on a happy face while my sister Mary is visiting.

But today, I was able to smile and mean it. I was surrounded by loved ones, and the simple joy of their presence let me relax and feel good. For a little while, I felt not-sick, for the first time in a long time. I felt almost normal. It was good stuff.

2010-08-07-j-cake

And even more important, Jacob smiled, and meant it. He was surrounded by friends and grown-ups that love him, and he found things to do all day: waterslide, basketball, Wii, Matchbox cars… all the highlights of a six-year-old’s life, all in one day. I’m so, so glad I was able to experience it with him… and now the challenge is to try and make it awake until bedtime.

2010-08-07-j-waterslide2

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Responses

  1. These exciting times are so hard with the health issues going on – I truly remember. As hard as it is try to think as each day a gift to explore life all over again through the eyes of your 3 beautiful children. Easier said than done – I know what I am saying is not what I have always done. Worry and depression are unfortunately normal when the unknown is lurking around the corner ESPECIALLY with yet another surgery for you. {{{HUGS}} as always.

  2. Happy Birthday to Jacob, and happy day to you. There’s plenty of love coming your way from lots of places!

  3. What a blessing to have a great day filled with smiles. May more blessings grace each and every day.


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