I got three days, two nights in the luxury accommodations at Massachusetts General Hospital, courtesy of a… thing. They still don’t quite know what it was: could’ve been an abscess though I showed no signs of infection; could’ve been a post-surgery seroma though there’s an awfully long time between the surgeries and this, plus there was blood involved, which is atypical for a seroma; could’ve been a pre-cancerous kind of deal, though the walls of the thing were thin and it didn’t show certain other characteristics they would expect to see… you get the idea.
The best they could offer was, “It’s a pocket of fluid, in an area likely to cause significant pain.” Gee, ya think?
The best they could offer was, “We’re not sure what caused it, so we can’t offer suggestions on how to avoid a repeat.” Great, thanks.
The best they could offer was, “We’re pretty sure it won’t happen again, but if it does, just do exactly what you did the last time – but skip the CT scan up in Gloucester, we weren’t happy with their report anyway.” Lovely, I’m feeling reassured.
The best they could offer was careful, repeated testing, multiple consultations between various teams and departments, and careful explanations of what they did – and didn’t – know as the process went on. In a top-notch medical facility, whilst providing me with adequate pain management. I feel like that’s a pretty good set of offerings, and I gratefully accepted.
Finally, after much consultation and testing and thought, they decided to use a needle and an ultrasound machine to deflate my little thing. Didn’t hurt much, thanks to local anesthesia, and I didn’t get too terribly revved up about it all, thanks to a reassuringly competent medical facility and my good friend Ativan. I cannot effectively express how well that worked, in terms of getting rid of the pain. Within minutes, I could sit up straight without whimpering, and by the time I got home, I was able to pick things up off the floor without extensive planning and preparation.
All in all, it was deeply anticlimactic. For which I am deeply grateful.