Posted by: Kate | May 20, 2010

Worth Remembering

There are moments – sometimes mere seconds, sometimes whole days – that I wish I could somehow preserve.  Not necessarily to relive over and over, though that would have its up-sides… but to be able to take out and remember, to have a brief dip back into the sensations and emotions from that moment, on the other days when life is hard and sharp and painful.

Writing helps. It provides a tangible record, something to reread.  Most of my writing, recently, both in my private journal and here, has featured negative stuff: fear and worry and pain.  But in the past few months, the negative stuff has been coming at me fast and furious, and writing it out is sometimes my only defense against despair.  Things have been getting better, a little at a time, and I’m noticing a reflection of that in my blog and in my journal: a little less angst, a little more bliss.  Not a complete changeover… I still dish out angst and anguish and frustration with a heavy hand, and I’m sure that will continue.  I’ve never been firmly in touch with my inner Pollyanna, and frankly it’s just more fun to bitch than to warble with glee.  But I am having better days, better moments – and I am remembering to write about them.

(On a side note, I’ve found that, for myself and for many other people I know, that we very often write out the misery and anger, but when we take pictures it’s almost always of pretty, happy things.  I wonder why we don’t use our cameras in the same way that we use our pens and keyboards.)

Anyway… today was one of the good ones.  A beautiful moment that stretched out over many hours.  I want to encapsulate it, to keep it as a souvenir of this particular journey.  But when I try to write it all out, it turns dry and boring and (wait for it…) too wordy.  (Surprise!) The short version is: I slept well; spent the day on the beach with one of my best friends, talking and gathering sand dollars and talking some more; ate ice cream; took a shower with Isaac (his first time, and one of my very favorite things to do with my babies) and then held him through the next few hours; spent an hour on the phone with my sister; ate more ice cream; held the baby for another while or so; spent grown-up time with my husband…

Just good stuff, one thing after another.  The kind of low-key, precious day I have to think of when I find myself doubting the possibility of true perfection.

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Responses

  1. Oh wow. That sounds like a perfect day!

  2. Here’s to many more precious days ahead!

  3. You deserve so many more of these days!

  4. It sounds lovely, and so much like the type of day that you need to help you recover.

  5. This is a awesome write-up, im happy I came across this. Ill be back again later on to check out other posts that you have on your blog.
    16:39


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