Posted by: Kate | May 13, 2010

“Why Did You Slam his Head in the Door?”

There are certain combinations of words that I never uttered, prior to being a parent.

“Put that house down and come over here.”

“Get that rock out of your mouth.”

“Don’t let your brother drool on the cat.”

It’s astonishing, really.  They’re all words that have been in my vocabulary for decades, but have never emerged in quite that order before.  I knew parenthood would change me in many, many ways… I just didn’t quite anticipate this one.

Any additions, from your house?  Or are we the only ones with random head/door interactions?

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Responses

  1. Oh no. Strange things happen here too. When my dd was about a week old, I left her in an infant seat, facing the couch, but on the floor. I came back and she was gone. “What?”…

    well, she was wiggly, and slid out of the seat, and under the couch.

    “Honey, remember the time I let the baby slide under the couch, and assumed that the dog had eaten her?”

  2. Steve tonight had a zinger of a statement “Derek don’t put your face in toilet bowel when you flush, it is gross. And it isn’t funny when you get splashed in the face. Now go wash your face using soap and water.” I actually had to go check it out to make sure I was really hearing this statement.

  3. “A gentleman doesn’t play with his penis at the table.”

  4. I was once overheard saying, “Hold on a second, Jacob, Mommy has to do a shot first” at a wedding. 🙂

  5. I don’t have kids but I took care of my dad for five years. He once told me that mosquitoes exist in another dimension since you can never seem to kill them when you swat at them. That’s definitely something I thought I’d never hear.

  6. From my daycare days: “Take your finger out of your nose and go wash your hands.”

  7. “If you don’t have to pee, please stop touching your junk.” Boys.

  8. How about, “I already told you, we don’t carry the chickens by the tail.”

  9. Please don’t like the front window.

    That was yesterday’s fun comment. And now that I’m thinking about it, I need to go wash the front window.

  10. That was supposed to be lick, not like.

  11. I tell my one year old daughter, “Don’t eat the dog.” On several occasions I have found an ear or his tail or his back skin wedged in her mouth while she wrestles on him. Grosses me out but she doesn’t seem to mind.

  12. At my house it is usually The same line but replace head with finger. For some reason as early as 6 months I remeber Gabe closing the door on Lily’s finger. and it has continued at least three times since….

  13. No kids here, but I have said to kids I’ve been around, “Just because you can … doesn’t mean you should …”


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