Posted by: Kate | October 7, 2009

I Just Asked for a Flamethrower for Christmas

…because, really, that’s probably the only way I’m actually ever going to end up with a Massachusetts driver’s license.

You may recall, a few weeks ago, my inordinate pride in leaving an unsuccessful RMV trip without a trail of bodies in my wake.  I am beginning to realize that pride was nowhere near inordinate; in fact, I might just nominate myself for a Congressional Medal of Honor.

I still do not have a Massachusetts driver’s license.  This is not due to laziness or disorganization on my part – trust me, lots of times, that’s exactly what happens, and the fault for things left undone belongs firmly on my head.  This, I don’t even know who deserves the biggest pile of blame, and that’s probably just as well.  My thirst for vengeance grows ever stronger, and so my inability to identify a specific culprit is probably a very good thing, in light of my ongoing desire to avoid a prison term.

It’s almost funny, if it wasn’t so horrifying and stressful and obnoxious.  And I’m without a vehicle for the next two days – Willem needs to take the minivan in tomorrow so that he can get home from a concert in the evening, and he takes it every Friday to go up to New Hampshire to get schoolwork done and check on the house-which-refuses-to-sell.  So that means it will be Monday, at the soonest, before I get to try this all again.

It’s a long story, even by my standards, and it’s really not worth retelling.  Suffice it to say, I have driven up to Concord, New Hampshire, in an effort to make this happen.  That didn’t help.  I’ve been to the Salem Town Hall often enough that I’m a little put out they haven’t built me an honorary “customer of the month” parking space yet.  That hasn’t helped, either.  I have returned to the RMV office, where I actually, for the first time in my life, asked a complete stranger if she was trying to be rude, or if she was just naturally bitchy.  (Never fear, I was very careful to double-check that she had no way of identifying me first… but still, I’ll be double-locking all our doors tonight.)

Shockingly, she didn’t offer me a lollipop.

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