So Much Anxiety, So Little Need

I’ve only got a minute, as I’m perched on Gretchen’s computer and we’re leaving very shortly for Martha’s Vineyard… for a vacation that will be a celebration, not a time to trudge down the beach and heal…

…because the ultrasound went perfectly fine, smooth, no problems at all. The fetus was easily visible, even to Willem and myself, and we could see the heartbeat flashing away.

Such a relief. I really got myself quite revved up yesterday, and I think it’s because anxiety serves as sort of a dress rehearsal for life’s worst-case scenarios. If your brain can wander through those miserable sorts of thoughts and come out intact, then maybe, just maybe, it will survive the actual miserable event.

So, yeah. Due April 15, though with my history I’m more likely to pop around mid-March sometime.

And I’m casting on this very day for my first baby hat… for my very own baby.