Posted by: Kate | July 24, 2009

Beaten by a Professional

One Monday, whilst at Jenny’s for a few days, we were able to palm the kids off on her husband – that man took five children, all under the age of 8, to the movies, all by himself, and kudos to him for it – and escape for a massage and facial.

That massage was a religious experience for me. My masseuse was about 5’2″ and 120 pounds, and she could have broken me in half with her bare hands. By the middle of the massage, I would have told her anything she wanted to know. And when it was done, I could breathe – real, slow, deep, unlabored breaths – for the first time in months. I hadn’t even realized I wasn’t able to breathe before, because of muscle tightness and pain and whatever else, until it was suddenly easy to do.

It was amazing. The endorphins coursed through my brain for hours.

The next morning, I woke up and could barely blink my own eyes without assistance. Everything hurt, just absolutely every part of my body. I hadn’t fallen out of bed or anything, it was just the moans and screams of my muscles as they all retreated from this unaccustomed state of non-tension. I felt like I had been beaten by a professional, because I hurt everywhere but there wasn’t a mark on me. That intense discomfort faded within a half-hour (a hot shower works wonders), and by the next day was completely gone.

And I would do it all again, in a heartbeat.

Note: I clarified in the comments, but don’t, don’t let me scare you away from massage for fear of follow-up pain. It had never hurt afterward, prior to this time, and I think I have a pretty good understanding about why this time was different for me…


  1. God, that sounds so good. I’ve never had a massage, but this is tempting me. Is all the pain the day after a normal thing to expect though? Cause that part doesn’t sound so great.

  2. I’ve gotten regular massages for about 15 years now. I have absolutely no pain after a massage, just joyous energy and release of endorphins.

    Massage moves the lymph, helps the immune system, and stops problems from developing. Finding a good therapist is key, one who really knows anatomy and pays attention to you instead of mindlessly manipulating the meat.

    Your body has to get used to releasing the chronic tension and tightness that most people live with. It’s the best health practice ever.

  3. I’d replied to Becky via email, but Nita is absolutely right and I should clarify here: I’d had several massages over the years, prior to 2008, and was never sore afterward… sometimes just a slight bit if I’d had a really tight spot, but as a general rule, no negative effects at all.

    But since then, I’ve had more accumulated stress than ever before – I’ve certainly had bad things happen before, but never such a long, long string of them like this – so my stress levels were at an all-time high, and I’d been carrying around tension that was many months in the making. Plus I never had any symptoms of the spondylitis before October or November or so, and never consistent, daily pain until the winter – so this is the first massage I’ve gotten post-symptoms and post-diagnosis. I checked with my doctor first and was told a massage was perfectly safe for me, but it’s just one more way that I’ve been carting around tension and discomfort already. And third, this was a deep-tissue massage, which I’d never had before – you can always ask them to go easier on you, and I likely will if massages continue to be a once-in-a-while treat… but if I could get them even once a month, I think I’d stick with the deep work, because ohhhhhhhhh did it feel good.

  4. I have a massage appointment with Trevor tomorrow morning and I can’t wait – it’s the highlight of my week!! Glad you felt such release – you have been under a *bit* of stress lately…

  5. This is the 2nd post I’ve read about a heavenly massage. I’m thinking I need to try it, but I have issues with people I don’t know touching me. I don’t know why, but I’ve always had an extra wide berth of “personal space”. Maybe I can make an appointment, load up on Ativan and not care for a bit? LOL.

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