Posted by: Kate | July 15, 2009

When I Grow Up…

…I want to finally have a reasonably healthy body image. I don’t need to feel like a model, not even like a hand model or a fit model or something. I just want to feel like I can dress appropriately for my figure, be content with my face and hair, and generally not cause panic and shock when I appear in public.

…I want to have a strong, solid, stable marriage. So predictable as to be almost taken for granted, except I’ll see enough examples of bad/difficult/unsatisfying relationships that I’ll be forced to remember just how good I have it.

…I want to have kids that make me happy, and that make other people happy. More importantly, I want them to be happy with themselves. I want them to be able to look back at their childhood as a time filled with fun stories and adventures and excitement.

…I want to have a job that brings me some basic level of contentment, such that I feel productive and as though I’m making a contribution to the household, even if I can’t have much of a professional effect beyond that. I want it to be interesting, and to pay well. And I want it not to damage or impede upon my family life; I can always go back and find a better job someday, but my kids aren’t always going to be 9 and almost-5.

…I want a hobby or two that I find interesting and enjoyable. I want a robust set of correspondence with friends and family who care about me. I want plans for new endeavors, once the opportunity arises.

…I want to minimize toxicity, fakeness, rudeness, and plain old bad behavior, and I want to feel like I’m able to establish and maintain good boundaries to make that happen. If it means taking time away from people who can’t seem to manage their own behavior, even after direct and honest conversations, then so be it. I’d rather have fewer seats taken at my table, than to be surrounded by a crowd of people that I don’t trust.

Oh, hey, wait. Look at that. I seem to have managed all of those things. At least for the moment… I can confidently say that I’ll backslide and screw up and experience losses again. Probably all of the above, and quite possibly within the day.

Madhouse Wednesday again, brought to you by the letters “HOLY CRAP THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO!”

And also brought to you by (at least some of the time)…



  1. Hey, having not written my post for this week yet, I have to say that it may just consist of:
    “See kate’s post. Ditto.”

  2. […] just read Kate’s post on this topic and am sorely tempted to simply say: “Ditto.”  But, no, I can put […]

  3. Sorry I’m a piker this week too. Time constraints and all that. I think you’re amazing to have achieved all those things frankly. I still don’t know what I want to do or be when I grow up and time is running out!

  4. This was a moving and well written post Kate; maybe when you grow up you will practice what you preach. Maybe you’ll stop only seeing the worst in people, I never knew you hated everyone until I discovered your blog.

  5. …I want to minimize toxicity, fakeness, rudeness.. oh really, you once said “Wow, things are really a lot less tense during the holidays now that H is dead.”
    That was your husbands father you were refering to. Would someone wanting to minimixe toxicity write that?

  6. sorry for the poor spelling. the x and z keys are far too close together for a guy with hands the size of a large pixxa, oops – pizza.

  7. And there may be one more “r” in the word “referring”; if you don’t approach the speed of light while reading this.

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