Posted by: Kate | May 20, 2009

Normal

I suppose it’s only appropriate that my “madhouse” post on the topic of “Normal” is happening at almost 7:00p on the day it’s scheduled. This, my friends, is my new normal.

I’m busy, every day. It’s just astonishing how much you can simply ignore and avoid, during a clinical depression – and oh, look, there it all is, waiting patiently for me now. Oil changes, phone calls about bills, organization, registrations, sports sign-ups… every day, I have errands, usually out of the house and usually things I could have dealt with months ago, except that I couldn’t.

I don’t feel guilty about this. Procrastination comes very, very naturally to me under the best of circumstances, and when things were bad, they were horrid. I did my best, and my children bear no visible scars, so now it’s just a case of getting it all back together again.

As though this wasn’t enough to juggle, I’ve also started working again, doing transcription work from home. It’s a wondrous thing, but it’s also solid, demanding, focus-intensive work, all in front of the computer. I get so tired staring at the same screen for hours that, as soon as I’m finished, I slam the computer shut and run screaming in the opposite direction. (Or, OK, I just shut it down and stumble over to the couch; same difference.) I haven’t visited a single blog in two weeks, am barely popping my head in to my various message boards, haven’t logged on to chat in ages, and in general have been a very bad cybercitizen.

Again, no guilt. Just the way things are, and once I get better at time-management and scheduling the work time apart from family time and not having to work at the kitchen table, I hope to regain some semblance of online life.

To that end – and to further the above-mentioned organization efforts – I took the day off. Didn’t even open my computer until just now. But it wasn’t to go loll on the beach. Jacob and I headed down to IKEA, and I bought myself my very own desk and chair.

Let me repeat: my very own desk and chair. A secretary-style desk, with several shelves overhead, hidden by solid cabinet doors. A solid, swiveling chair with good lumbar support and arms for leveraging up and out after too many hours of typing.

This is terribly, pathetically exciting to me. I know I’ve blogged before about my lack of space in this house, space which is mine and only mine. I share a bedroom, and the only other spaces I frequent are the kitchen and living room – also shared spaces. Each kid has their own room, and Willem has his office, and I… don’t.

But now, with my brand-new desk – being assembled by my helpful and long-suffering husband right this very second – and comfortable chair – already in residence under my derriere – I’ll have my own spot. A place to stack those papers I still need to sort through, and a designated area to throw all my crap when we have company en route.

So, with a little luck, what I’m in right now is not really my new normal, just the messy transitional stage from a nasty, miserable normal to a more organized, unmiserable one.


It’s madhouse time again, and here we are to play it. JMLC and Baino are regular participants – this is becoming a bit like poker night, except with those pesky oceans in the way – and several others have been known to throw in their thoughts: Heather, Be This Way, Alli, Aitara, Fraught, The Three Bucketeers, Heather

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Responses

  1. Hooray for being motivated and energetic enough to get stuff done!! And I hear you on the no-space-of-my-own thing… It’s the hardest thing for me about being married.

  2. Random notice – your last two entries have been titled so that there is only one letter different between them. I’m a nerd for noticing these things.

    When I find a job, the very first thing I’m going to do is buy myself a proper desk. I have a chair that I like (birthday present from Mike) but I have been making do with an old desk of his that I really don’t like.

    I don’t have a lot of space that is mine alone – Mike has a lot more stuff in this apartment than I do (part of moving cross country in nothing but your compact car) and so it takes up more space. I’d like to section out a little more space for me.

  3. We’re short on space as well so my Dining table is now an office for a Graphic Designer and Landscape Gardener! I went and bought three small filing cabinets for them which are now part of the ‘furniture’. At least we’re using the lounge which was previously just an ‘entertaining’ room! Good luck with the organisation!


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