Posted by: Kate | May 13, 2009

Psychic Friends Network

My parents are coming up tomorrow night because the divorce hearing is later this week. They had to be subpoenaed in order to testify on my behalf, because they keep doing the same flip-flops, telling me I’m doing the right thing and then telling me to get back together with Whatshisname. Nothing new there.

Can the girls and I stay at your house tomorrow night? The parents are staying at a hotel, but if I’m at home, they’ll come visit, and the last thing I need before the hearing is to let them unravel me. I’ve made plans for us to all go out on Thursday, and you had already invited us for dinner Friday, so I should be able to avoid much alone time with them before they go home. I can sleep on the couch, the baby can sleep in her seat, we’ll be fine wherever.

See you later,

You idiot, of course you can stay here. I’m really glad you asked. I had thought about suggesting it, but I didn’t want to get in the way of a complicated relationship. We’re here, you have a key, the room remains yours if you need it. We did turn it into a playroom, but we kept the bed in there, all made up. We know better than to let go of our guest bed, someone or other seems to need it on a regular basis.

I’m sorry your parents are indulging in another round of asshattery, and hope that they fix their rectal-cranial inversion before they hurt their necks, but their heads are really pretty far up there, aren’t they? At least they’re going home soon, and I’ll make two batches of sauce on Friday: one for us, and a special Ativan-and-Benedryl version for them. Mmmmmmmm.

On the off chance that your mother calls me looking for you tomorrow night, what’s the official story that we’re telling them? (Quick, work out a good lie for that, and then prepare to go to court and tell the truth, the whole truth, etc., and then watch while your parents randomly lie and make stuff up on the stand. Good times!)

See you tomorrow, anytime,

Good to know. All of it, really.

As for our story, I forgot to tell you, you’re going to have a really big crisis tomorrow night. Some completely unforeseen circumstance, maybe a meltdown about your back, or bad pain, or just that we wanted Kari there the night before so that we had one less person to juggle in the morning. No, not the last one, not dramatic enough. Could you and Willem get in a big fight tomorrow afternoon, just bad enough that you want people around the house to commiserate but not so bad that he would have left or anything? Yeah, that works, some sort of crisis. Aren’t I good, rescuing you in your time of need?


There is something fabulous about having a psychic friend. I appreciate being forewarned that I’ll have some drama tomorrow afternoon, and will dress accordingly.

And you don’t even charge $0.99 a minute. Of course, there is your hourly rate…

It’s madhouse time again, and here we are to play it. JMLC and Baino are regular participants – this is becoming a bit like poker night, except with those pesky oceans in the way – and several others have been known to throw in their thoughts: Heather, Be This Way, Alli, Aitara, Fraught, The Three Bucketeers, Heather… they didn’t all post this week, and this is not at all meant as a guilt trip. I just figure, they all have played along at least once, they deserve a few extra clicks even if they couldn’t now.

(And now I don’t need to spend several minutes every week hunting down old posts for the right links…)



  1. LOL – you’re a good friend, Kate.

    Good luck to L w/the divorce hearing. Stressful.

  2. I’ll join the madhouse. It’s just going to take me a bit to get something up. I already know what I’m going to write about. I just have to get the Danger Ranger squared away so that I can blog without worrying that he’s about to climb the bookshelf or something.

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