I’ve said it a lot of times in the past few days, so I figured I may as well post it here and immortalize it, or at least turn it into pixels that last until the server goes under…
I am so, so glad and grateful that I went on Zoloft in February. It took a long time to start working – six weeks – and then it took a little longer for me to start to believe that it was actually working (instead of just telling myself, “It’s just a couple of good days, the depression will roll back in as soon as things go back to normal.”).
But it’s been two weeks now, and I’m confident that this change is solid. I still get upset over job rejections and infertility and health issues, but not in a weepy, woeful sort of way. And in between those moments I’ve been able to engage in my life again.
It hasn’t radically changed my personality or anything, it has just allowed me to think a little more clearly, be a little more patient, not take things quite so personally, bounce back from disappointments a little quicker. And, for me, I’m not noticing any side effects – which is a big deal, because normally if a medication ever causes sleepiness, it will knock me out cold.
So, it’s good. I just had a great weekend with Willem and the kids, nothing especially noteworthy except that it was pleasant and under control the whole time. Even last night, when the kids started to reach their maximum together-at-home time and joined the High-Maintenance Noodgy Drill Team, I had the focus and energy to maintain, and there were no big meltdowns or upsets. Just a few weeks ago, it would have fallen apart by dinner.
It might not all be the Zoloft, of course. It’s finally consistently warm outside, and I’ve had a lot of very positive events recently that have boosted my mood all on their own. But I’m sure it’s playing a big part, and I am thrilled, because I’m currently dealing with a complicated and deeply upsetting situation with a loved one (the details of which I will not blog) and it has taken a lot of work and care to avoid several possible bad outcomes.
I am not an employee or retailer of Zoloft, and this is not a paid advertisement, honest. It’s not for everyone – no antidepressant serves as a one-size-fits-all, and the overall thought of antidepressants in general is just too far out of some people’s comfort zones. I won’t stay on it forever; just until something changes and the circumstances start to resemble normal again. But, for now, it has worked well enough for me… hooray for better living through chemistry.