Posted by: Kate | February 13, 2009

In my Next Life

This life is a decent one, and I wouldn’t make any major changes. I don’t have regrets, by and large, mostly because I believe that changing any one decision could easily end up with entirely different results. I could wish certain incidents hadn’t gone down in quite that way, but who knows whether I would end up married to the same guy, with the same kids, in the same self if that one thing was different? Better to stick with what I know, since – the past four months notwithstanding – my life actually is pretty good and bears a reasonable similarity to the life I want to be living.

But I do have a few things I’ve filed away for consideration in my next life. Because things are good the way they are, but there are some things I don’t have now that I either miss or would like to try…

In my next life, I’m going to spend several more years dating, maybe even marrying, someone who likes to go out dancing. I’d be willing to learn a more structured type dance if that’s what it took: swing or contra or something. But really, just going to a club with very loud music, live or recorded, and twitching around on the dance floor with some semblance of rhythm along with a group of other people… I miss that. The last time I did it was my wedding. I’m not a great dancer by any stretch of the imagination, but I enjoy it, and after a few drinks I can loosen up enough not to care that I’m not a great dancer. I carry a small grain of hope that, once we move closer to Boston, I might find a friend or two who enjoys going out in that sort of manner once in a while… and if not, fine. I’m content with my social life as-is… but in my next life, I’ll hit more clubs.

In my next life, I’ll play a sport in high school and college. I was always awkward and gangly, more interested in books than motion. I was – surprisingly, both to my gym teachers and to myself – good at odd, random sports, like badminton and field hockey. But I never joined a team; never even considered joining a team. And now, I consider exercise to be an aversive, unpleasant experience. In my next life, I’ll make it more of a habit from early on.

In my next life, I’m going to take out fewer student loans, be more selective in my courses of study, and finish the damn doctorate if I decide to start it. Especially if I get 90% of the way there.

So, no big regrets, but certain ideas I’d like to try, if given a cosmic do-over. How about you?



  1. So next time the four of us are together? You & I are hitting the dance floor while the boys talk hockey and beer and math and science stuff…

    We took ballroom dancing when Evan was an infant and I knew it was wasted $$ when the instructor said, “D’Arcy, move with the beat!” and he looked at me and asked, “What does she mean, the beat?!”

    I love him and wouldn’t trade him, but yes, let’s go find us a dance floor!! Soon?!

  2. You know, it’s never too late. I started playing badminton a year ago, at 30. Every sunday night a group of us meet up, Not particularly competitive (or even good) but fun and good for us 🙂

  3. You make the great point that where we are is directly correlated to the road travelled to get here, which is good for me to remember when I start down the road of I Wish I Had Done… which I did a while back (see below).

    Yeah, the dancing. My beloved husband is fairly willing to head out on the dance floor with me (he’s fairly willing to do about anything he has some inkling will please me), but despite being an accomplished athlete, he is so utterly painful as a dancer that I just don’t enjoy it. Sad, but true. And I, too, miss it.

    The rest of my list is here: (forgive the link. I’m too lazy to type all those things in again.)

  4. I love going out dancing too! Sadly, Shane has NO groove. None. It’s pathetic, really. Someday when I come to stay in your B&B, we’ll go out dancing.

    If I could live another life, the one big thing I would change is to be more spontaneous and less structured. Oh, and I would learn to play an instrument (I may still do this in the next few years).

  5. Why don’t you try line dancing? You don’t need a partner. It incorporates country western, latin, contemporary and ballroom steps. Challenging, lots of fun (raises those endorphins) and it’s very aerobic!

  6. […] I wrote, a few days ago, about the things I wanted to try in my next life. Like going out dancing more, and joining a high […]

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