Posted by: Kate | January 9, 2009

Do Not Go Gently

I’m a bit better now.

Not fully resolved on it all – I don’t know what I’ll do if offered an interview, much less if offered the position again.  I don’t know what will happen tomorrow when I call the state’s Labor Board with my suspicion that the company is breaking the law by publicly posting the position instead of calling me to offer it back to me in the first place.  (Update: Have learned that New Hampshire is an “employment at will” state, meaning that anyone can be hired or let go for any or no reason at all, and the position can be immediately relisted despite the ethics or morals thereof.  On the flip side, it means that, if hired, I am allowed to walk in one morning, give notice, and leave.  You know, just in case it ever came up…) I don’t know whether it would be smarter to just resolve to stop reading job postings until it’s closer in time to our planned move.  I don’t know a whole lot, really.

But I feel better, less prone to hysteria and tantrum, already.  Within five or six hours, I was able to talk about the day’s events without crying, and within seven or eight hours I was able to talk about completely unrelated topics without continually and obsessively returning to my prior angst.  Twelve hours later, I was able to have a philosophical, planning-for-the-future sort of talk with my husband, and generally feel like I had some perspective on the whole deal.

This is a lot better than the month it took before I could even begin to wrap my mind around the initial layoff.

A lot better.

It’s because I have an amazing husband, friends and family willing to listen to me babbling mindlessly through the initial crisis, and the ability to see past the immediate nonsense.  It’s because I’ve already gotten through some big, nasty stuff and I just don’t have the patience and energy for another slide into depression, thankyouverymuch.  It’s because I have plans – big, shiny, exciting plans that involve wraparound porches and ocean views – and those plans do not involve another month of wallowing.

So, we’ll see what happens with the new/old job.  Maybe nothing, maybe lots, but the next few steps are out of my hands.  In the meantime, I’ve knit a dishcloth and a half, with hopes of finishing the second one to bring as a hostess gift to a dinner tomorrow night.   We’re getting our annual family portraits taken before the dinner, and Emily agreed to wear a dress without being threatened with bodily harm.  I’ve started visiting again and am considering a trip to Massachusetts to start house-shopping in person.  There’s lots I can do over the next few days, just not about this job-angst.  That’s in the hands of the company and, as of tomorrow, perhaps the state’s legal guys, and I’m doing my best to avoid thinking ahead of it all until it happens.

Which, I know, makes for a much more boring and sedate blog post, but honestly, I’d prefer boring over drama any day.  Especially when that drama was taking place inside my own head.


  1. ooh! Tell me when you’re in MA– maybe we can meet for a snack! 🙂
    Glad you’re getting your head around it- you’re a far better person then they deserve to have. It’s the loss of the patients and others you serve.

  2. Surely if it was a layoff, they are breaking a law by advertising the position. If they want to call it a firing, then advertising is legal. How nasty will they get to protect themselves?

    Don’t let their murky monster-swamp suck you back. Onward to porches and ocean views!!

  3. Wow! What bastards! Never ceases to amaze me.

  4. Nice to see your bounce-back Kate superpower has kicked in. Hang in there dollface & just let it unfold. It might even be fun to watch!

  5. Dr. Sharna is right! they might start squirming a bit here. You are handling this amazingly well and the fact that you are focusing forward really proves how much better the future move and business will be for you!!! Keep chugging along!

  6. They sound like such a**holes. Do you even really want to work for them again anyways?

  7. Kansas is an employment at will state too – though that didn’t stop my company from requiring that I amass a load of written documentation before they would let me fire a horrible employee a few years ago.

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