Posted by: Kate | December 6, 2008

Impostor

I felt a little bit like a divorcee introducing the ex to the new girlfriend today (because we all know that appliances, especially the awesomely helpful ones), because I brought home a new Kitchenaid stand mixer.

My old one, purchased for $35 from a woman who had some sort of lung ailment requiring constant use of oxygen (little tanks and lines running all over her house) and depleting her energy to the point that she couldn’t lift the mixer from the cabinet to the counter to ever use it. Her loss, my wildly unfair gain.  I brought it home and treated it with reverence and frequent use for the next two and a half years.

In a bit of timing that was as painful as it was coincidental, I bought the last mixer about a month after starting my job, and three days after being laid off, the mixer died. Suicide? Overuse? Who knows? It didn’t leave a note, it just seized up at the addition of brown sugar to a butterscotch-oatmeal recipe and never recovered. The paddle still spins, but it makes disturbing clicking and grunting noises, and frankly I’d like to minimize the amount of grunting happening in my kitchen.

At first, I planned to have it repaired, and I continued to entertain this plan until, after 147 phone calls on Wednesday afternoon, the sad truth presented itself to me: repair was not an option. There is simply no one within an hour’s drive willing to do small appliance repair. The nearest officially sanctioned Kitchenaid Repair Person is in Salem, MA, and by the time you factor in the gas money, the time, and the initial consultation fee… well, Walmart had a good sale, and so I made a slightly ashamed but – despite my current financial circumstance – deeply necessary purchase. It’s comparable to the experience of finally upgrading to high-speed Internet or digital cable or non-acrylic yarn; you just can’t ever go back to the simpler, inferior models again once you’ve been spoiled by the good stuff.

So Jacob and I made a pilgrimage to the local Walmart yesterday, and while I appreciate and understand just how horrible Walmart is for the landscape of American consumerism, blah blah blah, I was also able to purchase a new mixer, the materials for this year’s Christmas cards, and a week’s worth of groceries for the same amount of money that a mixer, alone, was going to cost at any of the other stores nearby.

It works just fine, as my newly baked lemon bars will attest, but still I am aware that this new mixer is an impostor, and not just because the old mixer is still sitting on the counter, pouting and glaring and awaiting my father’s arrival to bring it home and take it apart just to see what it looks like inside to attempt to fix it himself. The timbre of its motor is slightly different, and the bowl secures into the base in a clockwise turn rather than counterclockwise. I’m confident, though, that after the normal bumps and bruises of a new relationship, we’ll get along just fine.

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Responses

  1. But you left out the most important detail:

    What color is it???

    🙂

    If I ever have to replace mine, it’ll be with a cobalt blue one.

  2. Oh. Or a red one.

    Vroom!

  3. Don’t worry, B, I’ll get details tonight! 😉

  4. Yes, bluecanary asks the most important questions-you’re holding out on us!

    I am eternally grateful that I inherited my grandma’s cobalt blue one more than ten years ago. And will always be kicking myself that I didn’t keep the grinder attachments!

  5. Pics?

  6. I have a 45? year old one, when they were still made by Hobart. Took it to a repair place for a once-over before I cooked for 35 people for a month. The guy said, “There’s nothing wrong with it.” Gotta love the old and good, as well as the new and bells-and-whistles.

    Enjoy!

  7. You have to have home made cookies for Santa. There was nothing else you could do.

  8. Alas, just white. I wanted red, or black, or really anything not white, but my only choices were white or an extra $100. Somehow a pretty color just wasn’t worth that much… maybe someday I’ll go after it with a Sharpie.


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