Posted by: Kate | October 14, 2008

Eight Years

Sometimes the biggest things have the smallest words.

“We had a baby.”  “We bought a house.”  “She’s back in prison.”  “The house burned down.”  There’s a reason why newspapers give credence to headlines; big stories can hide within just a few words, and the rest is just details.

Our headline for today is, “Married for Eight Years.”

That’s a long time.  We’ve been married and settled for longer than we were dating and unsettled.  We’ve been married long enough to know each other painfully and thoroughly, and yet we still have moments when we stare at each other as though we have simultaneously lapsed into different and inscrutable languages.

We’re at a point where we can still surprise each other, but in positive ways.  “Hey, I didn’t know you could do that.”  It has been a long, long time since an unpleasant, dirty little secret has surfaced, and I’m beginning to hope that perhaps there aren’t very many still lingering.  Believing that there are none at all is just too Pollyanna for this dyed-in-the-wool cynic.  But it’s not unidirectional; I wonder if there are deep dark secrets of mine that he doesn’t know.  Things that I haven’t deliberately, consciously kept hidden, but which are so long age and far away that they just don’t seem relevant, and yet they would knock him over if he knew.  Not that I can think of, but maybe.

I trust him implicitly, and feel trusted, in return.  We’re raising kids as best we can, and we seem to be creating reasonably likeable, productive little creatures.

Most important, I think, is that it feels like we’re hitting our stride.  We’ve figured each other out, learned how to be comfortable around the other and to make the other comfortable, and now it’s just a case of working together toward certain shared goals.

I already knew that I had married my best friend.  Now I’m learning to trust the word “forever.”


  1. Congratulations! Enjoy the day.

  2. Happy Anniversary!! You two give me bunches of hope and I truly admire the life you have created together. Love You Both!

  3. Happy Anniversary! I’ll be blogging about #15 on October 30th.

  4. Congratulations & happy anniversary.

    I been married 21 years and together with my partner for 25 – I too married my best friend 🙂 we still surprise each other on a regualr basis, still make each other laugh….a lot, still are in love. It’s been something we work at and never take for granted. I still look forward to him coming home from work everyday and would choose his company over my friends – especially now he’s taken up knitting!!

    I am so glad that you have this too – aren’t we blessed.

  5. Congratulations! This year was our 8th, too.

  6. Congratulations, Kate! Happy anniversary.

  7. Happy anniversary—what a lovely post.

  8. Marriage is a grand adventure held together by the glue of commitment. It’s learning to love at a deeper level and to put the other person first, always. We’ve been married 42 years and through many ups and downs we’ve not only lasted but grown individually and as a couple.

  9. Yes. Happy Anniversary.

  10. Happy 8!


  12. Happy Anniversary to you both. You two inspire me.

    We’ll be celebrating our 25th in November…considering I’m only 29, I am pretty proud of us! 😉

  13. Happy day! Congratulations. Now go do something wild to celebrate.

  14. Happy 8th anniversary Kate & Willem! I’m so glad that you were able to muddle through and grow the wonderful partnership that you have. I know how lucky you (both) are!! Love & congratulations to you both! xo

  15. Happy Anniversaday.

  16. Happy Anniversary!

  17. Congratulations on the eight successful years!!!! Awesome…..

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