Posted by: Willem | August 23, 2008

Stay Tuned…

Hi, it’s Willem.  Kate’s away on vacation until Monday and I’m supposed to fill in while she’s gone.  Unfortunately I have nothing interesting to write about right now.  So, I’ll just give you some of the thoughts that are currently passing through my head, and you can do whatever you like with them.

1.  There’s something about the summer Olympics that I just don’t like.  Maybe it’s that there are too many sports, or that so many of them seem out of place.  For example, consider Race Walking and BMX.  Are these really sports that need to be on display at the international level?  Give me hockey and bobsledding and skiing and yes, even figure skating over these fake sports any day.

2.  Neither of the kids is any good at Hide and Seek.  Even at the playground where there are millions of little spaces to crawl into and become trapped for weeks, I can find them in usually under 10 seconds.  Emily’s problem is that she can’t stop giggling and Jacob’s problem is that he likes to “hide” in broad daylight.  My best hiding spot of the day?  Halfway down the spiral tube slide.  Damn near had to call the fire department.

3.  I got to spend the afternoon at the local laundry-mat the other day because our dryer decided to stop drying.  This was my first visit in probably 6 or 7 years.  I found that, while I seem to have changed a lot in that time, the clientele at the typical laundry-mat has not.  Luckily I remembered that a good method for avoiding unnecessary conversation is to subtly, but consistently, act weirder than those around you.  This is also an effective tactic on subways, elevators, and especially at funerals.

4.  Thanks to Kate’s recent trip to IKEA, the living room now has more pillows than our entire house has ass cheeks.  That’s including L, X, and the cat.  I’m not sure why we need this many pillows, though I am looking very much forward to Gretchen’s next visit.  Perhaps the overwhelming abundance of weaponry within arm’s reach will finally produce the girl-on-girl pillow fight that I so desire.

5.  I have not seen rain in over three weeks.  This is good because I hate rain; absolutely hate it.  I am much happier when it is 15 degrees and snowing than when it is any temperature and raining.  My least favorite weather?  31 degrees and raining.  They never cancel school for that.  Even thunderstorms are over-rated.  If they’re not intense, they’re boring and a waste of time.  If they are intense, they can kill you.  Fantastic!

That’s good for now.  I’ll post something tomorrow when I get a chance.



  1. I don’t think cats have ass cheeks. I’ve never heard a cat fart, and I’m sure they do fart… and while there may not be much scientific research to back me up here, I think you need ass cheeks to produce an audible fart. I thus illogically decree that cats do not have ass cheeks.

  2. Willem: you’ll have to buy so high heels in each one’s size to be properly pepared for said pillow fight…a hidden camera would be advisable since it will never happen when you are home either. 😉 Enjoy your few days as a single dad bonding withthe kids- WHAT A COMANDO!!!

  3. Pretty darn impressive, Willem!

    I’m with you on racewalking and BMX. I also have a big problem with synch swimming and rhythmic gymnastics. There are more.

  4. I agree with race walking although since an Aussie won bronze I have to pretend to think it legit. Basically it’s slow running. I’m a cushion queen so . . .go Kate . . .and great tip on how to be left alone when those around you are weird ish *limps out of room head sideways and dribbling* yeh, that’ll keep the muggers at bay!

  5. Being an ex competitive swimmer, I have an issue with your issue. It’s much harder to swim a mile than it is to ski a mile.

    Both Olympics have idjit sports…skeleton racing? bobsledding? trampolining? curling? Table tennis?

  6. I don’t remember complaining about swimming. If anything, it would be one of the few sports I would keep if I were in charge.

    But, if you are going to bash curling, then I think we may never agree. Bocce on ice? How cool is that?!

  7. Egads, Kate — Frank LOVES curling, too.

  8. I always wondered why no one ever wanted to talk to me whilst at the laundramat. I guess you just have to have the right perspective.

  9. […] Pillows than Ass Cheeks How’s that for a visual image, Item #4 there?  Makes me sound like one incredible interior decorator, […]

  10. Re #5: Oh, but if you live in the South you can be assured that in fact they DO close schools for nothing more than a hardish rain. This has been tops on my pet-peeve list since it started to affect my bred-in-the-snowy-midwest life. Evening forecast for snow, but wake to rain? Take your child because clearly there’s no reason NOT to? Hahahahahaha! Silly you! Didn’t you listen to the cancellation list?

    I hear it’s because of the number of “snow” days built into the school schedule. How’s that for ludicrous? grrrrrrrr!

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