Posted by: Kate | July 10, 2008

By Way of Introduction

Dear Dentist,

Look, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you. And after tomorrow, that’s going to continue, because you’re going to put me under general anesthesia in order to fill a few cavities. Please understand that I hold a tremendous level of shame and self-loathing that I can’t just be a grown-up about this, but the fact is, I can’t. This is the only way I can tolerate the idea of being in a dental chair for anything more intense than a cleaning, and please believe me that a cleaning is PLENTY intense for me all by itself.

So just… I don’t know. Do what you have to do, and be nice about it, OK? You won’t know that in the rest of my life, I am an intelligent, professional, competent woman who does not snivel or quake through even high-stress situations. I won’t tell you, because I’ll be too busy pretending to be somewhere else.

We’ll have a brief coexistence and then I’ll give myself another year or three before going through this all again, mmmkay?



  1. You’re feeling sleepy . . .

    I sooooo wish my dentist would knock me out. Replace all my old fillings do the scrapey thing and I’d just wake up with an extreme makeover smile!

    OK all done!

  2. My Dentist and I are buds. You see I have had a severe case of bone disease and now no longer have…..
    Ummm excuse me, I have a $2700 mouth full of titainium based dentures.
    Barbara Stanwyck
    Please don’t tell anyone.

  3. Ya I agree to that.. A brand new smile will do for me.

  4. When’s the big day Kate?

  5. Two days, because apparently my teeth are a ridiculous mess. Hooray! (Though, in a weird way, it actually is a relief – it feels stupid to need to be knocked out for one or two cavities, but for the amount I need done, it doesn’t seem so excessive.)

    August 18th and again on the 28th. Can’t wait…

  6. I can so relate to this. I had a dentist call me a baby once! Dickhead.

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