Posted by: Kate | June 24, 2008

Stapling Impaired

Am I the only one who finds staplers to be a cruel joke in the ongoing efforts to look professional and organized? 

I can do mountains of paperwork, type quickly and accurately, sign illegibly but consistently, create neat little stacks of paper with paper clips and labels, wrap it all up in a crisp, yellowish, enormous envelope… but at least half the time, the stapler jams, or misfires, or penetrates only halfway through the six pages I want to attach, or in some other way causes my day to get worse. 

Then I have to pull it out, either breaking a nail or poking a hole in my skin or tearing the paper, and I try again, and sometimes I get to repeat the process three or four times before my final product sits, crumpled and chewed up, ready to be embarrassingly delivered.

Automatic staplers are much more consistent, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they’re in communication with their manual brethren and are just waiting for me to let my guard down before they latch onto my hand and gnaw.

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Responses

  1. That used to happen to me all the time, to the extent I´d ask other people to staple things for me. Then I learnt that the only way I personally can use a normal stapler is if it is on top of a table and I´m standing up when I press down. Amazingly, it works!

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA*gasp*HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    it must be genetic.

  3. yeah i have a hard time with staplers too but i thought that was just me.

    does anybody else think they look kind of menacing?

  4. Absoolutely! I’m an office goil and now have a shiny black INDUSTRIAL stapler. Works through 12 sheets of paper if I bang hard enough! (only to realise that I’ve stapled the wrong corner Doh!)

  5. The same stapler is not consistent either. You can sneak up and smash it with a book or you can push firmly but ever so gently. It’s still capricious.


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