Posted by: Kate | May 15, 2008

Not a Good Day

When I go into a staff meeting, one at which it was previously and repeatedly announced that we would be discussing schedule changes, I should be able to request a change – just request, not necessarily get or even decide upon that change – without being made to feel like a selfish asshole, an upstart, a problem.  I shouldn’t be told that if the team were to even consider making a schedule change, it would be unprincipled and unethical.

Just sayin’.

And I’m about to send in the forms that allow me the privilege of beginning to repay my student loans.  My absolutely enormous, more-than-the-mortgage pile of student loans.  Loans which I expected to have accrued in the process of getting a doctorate, which would then allow me to have a job with sufficient income to repay them.  Instead I have a low-paying job and student loan payments stretching as far as the eye can see.  Sucks.

In the same process, I sent my college a brief email: “Please allow this email to serve as my official confirmation of disenrollment beginning summer 2008.”  I did not include a paragraph about how hurt I am that I was misled about my chances of getting an internship placement after taking a year off.  I did not include mention that the only follow-up communication I have ever received, from these people who were so caring and supportive to my face right up until the day I finished classes – in good standing, with accolades and teaching experience and supervisory work, too, I might add – was in the form of periodic reminders of registration fees and deadlines.

I’m out of migraine meds, and don’t have the energy to call and ask for more or to drive to the store and get them.  Maybe tomorrow.

I’m still not pregnant, and each month gets a touch more frustrating, a touch sadder.

I don’t want a do-over of the day.  I just want to crawl in bed and hide from the rest of it.  I won’t, because I have children who need to see Mama smile and a friend who may come over for mindless television and knitting purposes.  But ugh.

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Responses

  1. Feeling for you. I do.

  2. Yeah, sounds like you’re in a genuine funk, and I feel your pain . . . mindless TV and knitting sound pretty good; I hope they help.

  3. Misery loves company, my day has been crap too. Sorry. Cosmo?

  4. I’ve been having one of those days too, weird.

  5. Awww . . vent away sweet Kate. We need a proper shitty day now and then to appreciate the next. I empathise on the student loans, ours are debited from salaries over $38,000 at 4% until paid. My kids both have $25,000 debts before they hit their first jobs! Chin up, one more day and it’s the weekend!

  6. Sorry you had a miserable day Miss Kate, I bet a Mojito would clear some of that angst right up. I have a sneaking suspicion that your old man (having been the Death Metal Happy-hour Bartender) could be coerced into making a healthy dose of said medicinial goodness. just my $0.02 : )

  7. Some days just suck. I hope things get better rapidly.

  8. I’m sorry you had a such a crap day. What is it that little redhead sang? Something about the sun and tomorrow.

    No baby for us this past month either. Doesn’t help that everyone around me constantly mentions that if I stress about it, I’m less likely to get pregnant. How does one not stress about it? Maybe I should take up yoga.

  9. 3 cheers for sucky days. Not. Well at least you made it through yours at work. I quit my job. NEVER have done this before – not like this. WOW. I hear ya.

  10. Hang in there – I can’t give you any advice for the rest, but I can tell you it took me and my husband a good 5 months to get pregnant before the 1st miscarriage I had….and then another 5 months after the 2nd one – so….although it is the absolute WORST counting days every single month, it might just take a little time.

  11. Yup, had those types of days. Hope tomorrow is a better one!

  12. […] work-whine from yesterday, about feeling misunderstood and disrespected and degraded: it’s not about me.  I’m […]


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