Posted by: Kate | April 1, 2008

Bore Me

We know a woman who is fantastically, impressively boring.  Any conversational attempt results in a quick sputter-and-die of the topic, and a lack of attempt on my part results in deafening silence; not the pleasant just-between-friends repose or the intense-and-edgy pause that happens in the middle of a meaningful interaction, just a dead, flat quiet.  The kind where you jiggle your foot a little to make sure you’re still awake.

I seriously cannot overstate this woman’s uninterestingness.  We’ve decided that she could probably be a professional Borer, but she’s maintaining her amateur status for a shot at the Olympics.  I’m not quite sure whether Boring is a summer or winter sport, but this woman trains all year long.  It’s a gift.

Today, I’m hoping that a little of her aura can reach across time and space to engulf my day.  I’d like a day that involves no phone calls to sheriffs or code enforcers, no ants, and no spaghetti sauce on the kitchen ceiling (don’t ask).  I want to avoid any discussion of large financial issues, whether it involves loans or inheritance or taxes or life insurance.  I’d just like to float through a day at work, ease through the evening routine, and sit placidly on the couch to absorb some mindless television in the evening.  I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

It is, after all, April Fool’s Day, and a boring day for me seems just about as wild and crazy a thing as life could hand me.  (Click on over to New England Mamas for a related rant.)

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Responses

  1. Good luck. I wish you boredom.

  2. Come to work with me, I’ll show you boredom!

  3. Girlfriend take the next flight to Seattle and you can live with my life. Maybe stagnant is a better word. Snerk. My pretest in Algebra was da bomme. My need to park at the raceway versus the campus came with two delightfully dull shuttle rides of about 6 minutes each. My nap was a snooze. I don’t even have any homework to do yet.

    I could be unpacking something but I choose to waste time online keeping my 4% sanity.


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