We know a woman who is fantastically, impressively boring. Any conversational attempt results in a quick sputter-and-die of the topic, and a lack of attempt on my part results in deafening silence; not the pleasant just-between-friends repose or the intense-and-edgy pause that happens in the middle of a meaningful interaction, just a dead, flat quiet. The kind where you jiggle your foot a little to make sure you’re still awake.
I seriously cannot overstate this woman’s uninterestingness. We’ve decided that she could probably be a professional Borer, but she’s maintaining her amateur status for a shot at the Olympics. I’m not quite sure whether Boring is a summer or winter sport, but this woman trains all year long. It’s a gift.
Today, I’m hoping that a little of her aura can reach across time and space to engulf my day. I’d like a day that involves no phone calls to sheriffs or code enforcers, no ants, and no spaghetti sauce on the kitchen ceiling (don’t ask). I want to avoid any discussion of large financial issues, whether it involves loans or inheritance or taxes or life insurance. I’d just like to float through a day at work, ease through the evening routine, and sit placidly on the couch to absorb some mindless television in the evening. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
It is, after all, April Fool’s Day, and a boring day for me seems just about as wild and crazy a thing as life could hand me. (Click on over to New England Mamas for a related rant.)
Good luck. I wish you boredom.
By: Melissa on April 1, 2008
at 12:31 pm
Come to work with me, I’ll show you boredom!
By: Baino on April 1, 2008
at 4:55 pm
Girlfriend take the next flight to Seattle and you can live with my life. Maybe stagnant is a better word. Snerk. My pretest in Algebra was da bomme. My need to park at the raceway versus the campus came with two delightfully dull shuttle rides of about 6 minutes each. My nap was a snooze. I don’t even have any homework to do yet.
I could be unpacking something but I choose to waste time online keeping my 4% sanity.
By: JaniceNW on April 1, 2008
at 6:43 pm