Posted by: Kate | March 4, 2008

Wants

I posted, today, over at New England Mamas, just an acknowledgment of my awareness of the subculture of conception. It’s fascinating to me, in a mildly irritating way, how consuming a goal can be once you’ve landed upon it.  This must be how multi-millionaires feel about their business deals.  This is why I’m not a multi-millionaire.  It takes a lot of effort to care this much about something and have to wait for an outcome.

I realized, the other night, that this is one of the first times in my life that I haven’t been able to simply go and get what I want.  I’ve been pretty good at adjusting my wants to my lifestyle.  No cash?  No problem, all I want is a day on the beach in warm weather.  An expense check from work?  Fabulous, now I want some new yarn.  Lots of available overtime at work?  Suddenly I’m interested vacations around the world.  I’m certain, if we were to wake up broke again tomorrow, that after a few days of “Wha…?” I’d readjust accordingly.

Likewise with accomplishments and other less-tangible wants.  I worked hard toward a doctorate, right up to the moment when I decided to walk away.  I set my sights on a given job, or skill, and have so far been able to either get what I wanted or accept when it was time to change the plan.

But this?  I’m doing all I can – oh, believe you me, as I sit home from with with a bladder infection after begging my doctor not to admit me to the hospital yesterday, I’m doing everything I can – to make a baby happen.  If it doesn’t happen, like anything else, I’ll try some more.  And once my husband regains consciousness, yet again.  I don’t think of myself as stubborn, because I can accept “No” for an answer if that really is the answer, though I do take a fair amount of convincing before I reach that point.

So we’re focused on a goal, and waiting.

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Responses

  1. That dreaded two week wait!!! I understand completely. I hope this is the only one you have to wait through.

  2. Haha . . I totallly understand the urgency of your wants Your conception and my property sale, lets see who delivers first! Although the gestation of my situation is more like that of a pachyderm! Two years in the waiting!

  3. You can do it.

  4. I hope you a get over your bladder infection quit, fast and in a hurry, and b dont have a long wait!

  5. Since I have never been, and never tried to get, pregnant I’m tentative about becoming obsessed with it. Who knows if I’m even able? But I completely understand how all-consuming it can be. It’s been very difficult for me to stay reserved and concentrate on other things.

  6. I don’t even leave the Dr’s office until I get that lovely, can’t sit on that side of your ass shot now when I get a bladder infection. Hope you feel better soon.

  7. Well here’s hoping that the Bladder infection goes away quickly and the next 2 weeks go by quickly!

    Feel Better Soon!

  8. I’m right there with you (except for the bladder infection part).
    Hope you are feeling better and good luck!


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