Posted by: Kate | February 18, 2008

She Didn’t Fall? Inconceivable.

Oh, the joys of New England weather. We’ve got two feet of snow on the ground – “snow” being a cute, polite euphemism for heavy, wet piles of congealed nastiness – and 50°F cloudy, windless weather, which leads to a simply ridiculous amount of fog. A little while ago I literally couldn’t see the OCD Lawn Guy’s house; it has eased up a bit since then, but not comfortably so.


There’s also the three inches of solid ice on all paved surfaces, with actively flowing meltwater on top. Slippery, much? But I’m happy to report that, through tiny little steps and a refusal to blink, I remained vertical throughout. Not one fall, not nohow. (Please tell me you recognize the title quote. Please.)

But 50-foot visibility and omnipresent ice rinks or not, life goes on. Next week is February Break Week around these parts, so somehow that results in the kids having school on Presidents Day. Live Free or Die, or something. So Willem drove Emily to school instead of letting her meander her way underneath a neighbor’s car, and I brought Jacob in for an hour because February is Find Ways to Distract the Children so we Don’t Go Insane Visitor’s Month at his preschool, and today was Police Officer Day. Woe be to the brain-addled parent who neglects to take the boy into school on Police Officer Day, even if it’s normally a day off.

I wasn’t there for most of it; my physical therapy (which is working quite well, and I’m almost human again, and you’re darn right I’m thrilled about this) was at the same time. But I returned after 45 minutes to watch them taking the toddlers in groups of four or five, to check out the car, press a few buttons, and use the microphone. Every single one of them, without exception, used the microphone to make a decidedly parrotlike, “Hello.” I sat in the minivan and chatted with my mother on the phone, until she finally gave in and asked, “What is going on there? “Oh, I’m in the middle of a high-speed chase, trying to evade a flock of irate parrots. They want a cracker.”

We wandered Walmart for a bit, bought their last 80 pounds of rock salt. In February. Really. I’ve accepted that retailers think I want to buy a bathing suit in January – and this year, I actually do need to go summer-clothes-shopping before March – but it seems like a wanton overindulgence of optimism to stop stocking rock salt this early. Renegotiated the parking lot, and still didn’t fall.

Then we came home for a Jacob-nap while I knitted and watched a show about Mean People Doing Bad Things. I blatantly broke the law at one point, and left him napping to go meeting Emily at the bus stop. It made me nervous, a little, but he’s a sound and predictable sleeper and she is not an as-the-crow-flies, head-up sort of walker; her route home, a two-block straight-line path to the house, tends to be more of a Family Circus dotted line sort of adventure. With the fog the way it was, I wouldn’t have been shocked if she’d wandered all the way to Ohio before noticing a problem.

1/4 of the distance from the house to the bus stop

All in all, a day with the potential for injuries and excitement, which ended up pleasantly and safely. So unlike me. And now I’m waiting on pizza to be delivered, and friends to come watch crap TV and knit for charity. And within a few days, I have a big knitting-related endeavor to announce; I’m sure you’ll all be on the edge of your seats.



  1. One of my favorite all-time movies. I’ve never seen it’s equal.

    I’m glad you’ve remained locked and in the upright position, and that your therapy is working. I’m also glad Jacob got to sit in a police car (a phrase I doubt I’ll ever say truthfully again) and that Emily found her way home.

    By the way, your fog photos are exactly the view I have of the world when my contacts have been in too long.

    Enjoy pizza and bad teevee.

    And knitting. Always enjoy knitting.

  2. So glad you didn’t fall again. and um we have (or had yesterday) rock salt at Lowes here in Georgia. too bad it would cost a jillion dollars to mail it to you….

  3. BtW, well played.

    Thanks, Patty… but I’m really, REALLY hoping that 80 pounds will get us through the reason. Really.

  4. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

  5. Despite the weather horrors the like of which may I never, ever ever live in, it sounds like a fantastic day, all things taken.

    We have a friend in the homeschooling group whose partner is a sergeant in the local PD. Her stops by the park to deliver lattes are about the boy highlight of the year. They all pile in at once — it looks like a police circus car.

    Knitting — can’t wait. But as you wish, Buttercup.

  6. I opened your blog because your title is from one of my all time favorite movies! If you are tired of ice and snow pop by my place to see what we’re wading through.

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