I was wandering around Yahoo! and somehow got sucked into the latest Britney Spears story. Do the details really matter anymore? Britney did something which was bizarre/upsetting/destructive/embarrassing/illegal, in front of a crowd of people with small black boxes held to their faces designed to capture her every breath, causing one to reflect on the fact that people go to school and get licenses to perform massages and yet we’re able and allowed to have babies without a single background check or written exam… doesn’t even help me narrow down the month, much less what day we’re talking about.
Anyway, Yahoo! has its sidebars, and one of them offers you the opportunity to view an illustrated timeline of her ongoing meltdown. It doesn’t say, “Britney: Sideshow,” as I initially read it to say, but it kind of should.
I do feel bad for her, because there are days when I lose my patience at having every move observed and judged just by my two kids; no one earns a living watching me. That I know of.
But then I remember that she has worked hard to keep herself in the public eye, courting (or whatever the kids call it these days) individual and mass group attention for her escapades, which could have happened in the privacy of her own home. So, ehh. I do feel bad for her kids, but at least they won’t have to work hard to find things to talk about when they start therapy.
And while we’re on the topic of celebrity and horrifyingness, yes, I’ve been following the press about Heath Ledger’s death. All of which was predictable and unrealistic, from the initial shock to the pointless speculation to the random side-stories (“The Benefits of In-Home Massage”? Really?), so I haven’t had any more personal reaction than I did to the 800 Kenyans killed last month in the latest violence over there. No relevance to my life, can’t get revved up about everything, what’s the next headline?
But I was nauseated and horrified by an op-ed article – I won’t link to it here, but Google can get you there if you’re casting about for a reason to stick a sharp stick in your eye – written by a self-proclaimed Christian who insists that Ledger’s death is a sign from God that the gay lifestyle is unacceptable and worth smiting. First of all, if that’s your view, you’re welcome to it, but please don’t ask me to pretend like it’s valid. And second, is God that bored? He can’t find anything at all more smiteworthy than someone who played a gay man in a movie? Because if it’s a matter of aimlessness or uncertainty of target, I could come up with a long list of people who deserve a little wrath before Heath. I can even come up with people who have played less reputable film characters.
And I’m also left wondering how many media outlets had prewritten obituaries for Heath? It was newsworthy last week that several agencies have prepared obits for Britney, even though it’s actually a very common and long-term practice so that they’re not scrambling for facts in the event of a sudden incident. I wonder if Heath Ledger was seen as both celebrity enough and high-risk enough to be pre-obituaried? And doesn’t it seem inevitable that Britney will live to be 150 years old, or at least as old as Keith Richards, just to prolong the spotlight as much as possible?
Hmm. Apparently celebrities put me in a bad mood. Time for charity knitting and reality television, just to make me feel smarter.