Posted by: Kate | January 25, 2008

Movie-Theater Popcorn

JRM had a quick post about popcorn last night, and it reminded me of a horrifying and disturbing story. I just had to share it with you all.

When I was about 17, I went to the movies with my then-boyfriend (now gay and living in Milwaukee, though I don’t think either of those are my fault).  I can’t remember what we were there to see, and I’m not even certain, now, whether we were up at school or visiting his hometown.  I just remember I was wearing a dress that was short enough to be cute but not so short that I was worried about catching something from the theater seat.

We settled in and had some time before the previews started, so I went out to get popcorn and a soda.  The dashing young gentleman behind the counter fulfilled that stereotype of the creepy, scrawny, awkward, staring guy who probably started out with a good heart but has been bullied to within an inch of humanity.  I placed my order, and he leered at me for a moment, and said, “Oh, I never eat the popcorn.  It always gets stuck between my teeth.  Just like…” long pause, looks me over like I’m in a red light district, “… just like… hair.  It’s why I also don’t do… certain things with girls.”

Words cannot expressed the true height of my skeeved-out-ness.  We left the theater, and since then I’ve never been able to eat movie-theater popcorn because it makes me think of that guy and pubic hair.  Ugh.



  1. Oh EWWWW.

    Much further down the list now.

  2. ick, ewww, and gross!

  3. Um, you’re so kind to share the skeeved-outedness. Thank you. Blech. I’m going to take a bath.

  4. Are you sitting there laughing now? I have a hard enough time cleaning the bathroom why are you ruining my popcorn? 😉
    A “gentle” tap on the side of his face would have been deserved. Or sage advice that he might as well turn gay then.

  5. Oh, thank you so very very much.


    I may have to take pictures of the car refrigerator after that, just for you!

  6. […] Read Kate’s post that was inspired by this one.  Just really don’t be eating popcorn when you do […]

  7. EEEEWWWWWWWW!!! Well that killed popcorn for me. I know how Jacob felt yesterday cause now my tummy is doing it’s own acrobatics. Thanks a lot.

  8. Wow, thanks. I just threw up a little in my mouth. Then I threw out EVERY BOX OF POPCORN IN THE HOUSE.

    I still feel kind of dirty.

  9. OMG!!! Seriously…ROFL!! That is nasty! I will never look at movie theater popcorn the same way again!

  10. I’m gagging right now. Thanks.

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