Posted by: Kate | January 29, 2007

Not the Sharpest Key on the Ring

Since changing regular offices isn’t enough chaos for the moment at work, we’re also being given a new office at one of the hospitals. The old office was directly next door to the room where we actually see clients, directly across the hall from the security office. The new office is down the hall, turn left, down the hall, through locked doors, turn right, pass three doors, into that unmarked door, there. The one with no heat, and a big sign on the back of the door proclaiming that coat racks will be coming soon, because until a day before we got the office, it actually was a closet. Literally.

But, whatever, we don’t spend that much time there and it’s another powers-that-be decision handed down without discussion anyway. We’ll cope. The hard part has been the key situation. The office needs to lock, because we deal with confidential client information, blah blah blah. We never had keys at the old office, because the security guys were right there with their big important key rings. But now, that’s not so helpful.

We had been going to the hospital, waiting for security to be able to walk us around the block to open the office, and then having to go back and get them every time we needed to get back in, because the door can’t be left unlocked while we’re in with clients, but we need to get back in to make phone calls, blah blah blah…. it’s boring, I know, but it was irritating.

So finally, the hospital gave us keys. Two keys. For eight people to share. Many of whom work from home and never cross paths. So, two keys, not so helpful.

But there’s a fix, right? Just get more keys. Hah! The hospital couldn’t do it, and no one knows why. So I finally took one of the keys home with me to try to have copies made.

And was unsuccessful, because they’re a weird length and none of the three hardware stores I went to carried blanks, and I’m not that motivated.

So the whole way back to the hospital, I was trying to figure out, “How am I going to get the key back to the office? I hate to bug security just to open the door for this, because it means going all through the ER and everyone sees me and maybe they’ll suddenly remember that they need me to do a consult and I just want to go home. So maybe I’ll just slide the key under the door. But what if it doesn’t fit on the ring? I don’t want to have to go all the way back to the ER after going to the office first, so maybe I should just stop at security anyway. But the security guys are all kind of creepy and way more chatty than I want to be.” &etc., &etc.

Are you seeing the lapse in logic here?

Yeah, it took me until I was all the way inside the hospital with the key in hand before I realized I could just open the door myself. With the key. In my hand.



  1. In an ideal world, you could go to Home Depot, buy a new lockset, get a whole bunch of keys made, and give a couple to the hospital to do with what they will.

    But chances are there is some federal law that no one but your ‘perfect’ co-worker knows the details of.

  2. Oh and the point of that federal law would be to forbid changing the locks in a hospital without express written consent from 3 congressmen, one of whom is in a coma.

    It’s Monday, I forget to complete thoughts. Sue me. 😀

  3. Or…. ooh ooh, you could get one of those fake rocks and hide the key in the hospital landscaping.

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