Of the past eight years in my life, a little more than four and a half have been spent either pregnant or nursing. This has brought on the expected side effects: extra weight, less energy, children. It has also brought on an unexpected one: I stopped drinking.

I know it’s safe to have a glass of wine at dinner during pregnancy. I know it’s encouraged to have a glass or three when nursing a sleep-averse baby. But it just didn’t seem worth it to me, somehow. I got pregnant at 22, still in the mindset that if you didn’t kill off several brain cells over the course of the night, then you hadn’t had enough to drink. Going from overconsumption to the more sedate and grown-up one or two glasses? Just pointless, really.  What was alcohol except for an excuse to dance in public?

So, even after each child weaned, I didn’t drink.  I’d decline it at social events, without bothering with much of an explanation.  Just, “No, thanks, I don’t drink.”  A time or two, I would be tactfully pulled aside and asked if I was in recovery.  There always has to be a story behind it, doesn’t there?

My story was simple, and therefore boring.  I didn’t enjoy the taste of alcohol, in almost any form, and so the first drink or two was just to deaden the taste buds enough to allow the rest to go down without a grimace and shudder.

But over the past few weeks, we’ve had wine in the house, some for cooking and some as a gift, and instead of relegating it to the top of the freezer and ignoring it for a year or three, we’ve tried drinking it.  With varying success; some has actually tasted somewhat pleasant, while others – like tonight’s Firefly Shiraz – needed me to hold my breath and take large sips to get through it all.

I’m working on it.  I’d be happy to find three or four types of wine I enjoy – beer is just out of the question, and hard liquor is so overpriced and intense in a restaurant.  I’d like to be able to order a glass of wine with dinner without ending up with a miserable, reflex-inducing surprise in a glass.

This is where you come in, dear readers.  Steer me toward the light.  Educate me in the ways of wine.  I know that I like light, sweet wines – I haven’t yet met a red wine I like, but have had a few whites and roses that show promise.  I do like champagne, even the cheap stuff you can get in the grocery store.   Bear in mind that I am still so coffee-averse that I need to add enough sugar to a cup to induce diabetes, so my capacity for bitter, harsh or sharp flavors is pretty much nonexistent.

So, with that in mind, what should I order next time we’re out?  (Don’t worry – you should have plenty of time to answer, because us going out to a place that serves wine is not a common occurrence.)